The lionhearted thoughts of a girl named Lainey.

A hope and a prayer for the school year ahead…

My daughter starts school next week, and I am feeling all the feels.

Yesterday was her last day of daycare, and as I dropped her off one final time, I found myself wanting to slow everything down—to notice her little face, hold her hand a little longer, and soak in a moment I knew I would never get back.

Because this milestone feels like a big one.

She is still very much my little girl, but she isn’t a baby anymore.

And I don’t think my heart is quite ready for that.

For the past few years, dropping her off at daycare has honestly been one of the hardest parts of being a working mom. I needed to work to help support our family, but there were many mornings I drove away in tears because leaving her simply hurt.

I’ve always had a hard time being away from Aurora. Even something as simple as getting my hair done, going to Bible study, spending time with friends, could feel difficult because it meant saying goodbye—even if only for a few hours.

I don’t know if every mother feels this way, but this has been my reality since the day she was born.

More often than not, I’ve chosen home.

I’ve chosen her.

Because home with Rory is my safe place.

She’s my little best friend. We laugh, play, sing, dance, snuggle, and make ordinary days feel special. There is genuinely nowhere in the world I would rather be than with her.

And now, another chapter begins.

There is sadness because I know this season of her childhood is closing. But there is also so much excitement because I know she is ready.

My girl is smart, vibrant, capable, loving, and full of life. She makes friends everywhere she goes. She is pure sunshine, and I know she is going to bring that light with her into her classroom.

She is going to learn.

She is going to grow.

She is going to flourish.

And still, letting go is hard.

But God.

I think back-to-school season carries something different for every parent. For some, it’s relief. For others, it’s bittersweet. And for many of us, there is fear.

Because sending our children out into the world requires us to accept something incredibly uncomfortable:

We cannot control everything that happens to them.

We don’t know what challenges they’ll face, which friendships will form, when they’ll feel brave or lonely, or what moments will shape them. And in the world we live in today, there are very real fears surrounding school safety that can feel overwhelming.

If I allow myself to live inside every possible what if, fear could consume me.

But God.

God is still God when my child is sitting beside me at home.

And He is still God when she walks through those school doors without me.

There comes a point in motherhood when love requires us to loosen our grip and trust the One whose hands are infinitely stronger than ours.

She was His before she was ever mine.

I cannot be everywhere she goes.

But God can.

I cannot see everything she will encounter.

But God does.

I cannot protect her from every hurt, disappointment, or difficult moment.

But I can place her in the hands of the One who loves her even more than I do.

So as we step into this new school year, instead of holding tighter to my fear, I’m choosing to hold tighter to my faith.

And I’m praying.

My Back-to-School Prayer

Gracious God,

Please take care of my girl.

Hold her in the palm of Your hand. Protect her and keep her safe. Go before her into every classroom, hallway, playground, friendship, and moment I will not be there to see.

May she grow in grace and wisdom each day. More than anything she could ever learn in a classroom, may she know You. May she know Your voice, recognize Your presence, and understand how completely she is loved by You.

When she feels uncertain, remind her You are with her. When she is afraid, give her courage. When she feels left out, remind her she belongs to You.

Help her to be kind, gracious, humble, brave, and compassionate. Give her the confidence to be exactly who You created her to be. Let her be a light.

Bless the friendships she will make. Surround her with children who are kind, loving, and encouraging, and teach her to be that kind of friend in return.

Bless her teachers. Give them wisdom, patience, strength, discernment, and joy. Be their peace in the classroom and give them everything they need to love and lead our children well.

And God, place Your hand over our school.

Protect every child, teacher, administrator, staff member, and family who walks through its doors. Keep evil far from them and let no harm come near our children.

May our school be filled with learning, laughter, friendship, kindness, and peace. Send Your angels to guard our children. Be a wall of fire around them, and let Your presence fill every classroom, hallway, and playground.

Let our children thrive in knowledge, wisdom, character, and love.

And thank You, God, for choosing me to be her mother.

There are no words that could ever express my gratitude for the gift of her life.

You gave her to me.

And now, as hard as it can be for this mama’s heart, I give her back to You.

She is Yours.

She always has been.

And when fear finds its way back into my heart, remind me again:

You go where I cannot go.
You see what I cannot see.
You know what I cannot know.

So I will trust You with my girl.

Again and again and again.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.