The lionhearted thoughts of a girl named Lainey.

Today in my devotion time with God, one of the scriptures I read was really perfect for this season of my life.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

Philippians 4:19-20

The power of that promise overwhelms me. It doesn’t say some of my needs, it doesn’t say only my spiritual needs or physical needs.

It says my EVERY need.

And the truth is I have many. So many needs.

Both for my physical universe but for my spiritual reality as well.

In this hour, I need grace during this pregnancy. My body is changing, it aches, it is experiencing so many new things. I have felt tired, nauseous, and pain among so many things.

I trust God that He is taking care of me and my baby girl. I have to trust that He is molding every part of her. He is weaving together who she is, her body, her mind, her spirit.

He already knows every single part of her. He has already spoken a purpose and dream over her. Who she will become, He already knows. It’s like they already have this beautiful secret between one another.

She is being formed by Her creator. He’s already comforted her, brought her peace in times of trouble, rescued her from danger, laughed with her in her joys and celebrated her in her victories.

She is already blessed and highly favored by God.

And my soul is confident that He will give us both the grace we need to bring his promises and purposes to fruition.

The other needs I have are not physical ones, they fall along the lines of my spirit and soul.

My anxiety is nearly constant. It’s something I battle with almost every second of every day.

This weekend my husband and I went to watch the new James Bond movie, “No time to die”

Movies are always hard for me because my anxiety and panic are at its highest. I can’t help but survey every single person that walks into that movie theater. I scan the crowd to find any “suspicious” persons.

I see if someone comes alone. I see if someone brings in a bag or backpack that might have guns in them.

My fear is that someone will start shooting in the movie theater.

I always identify my exits every time we watch a movie. I always decide what my “escape route” will be in case something terrible happened.

This night was no different, I knew exactly where I would hide if someone started shooting. I determined that when the moment was right, I would jump down the railing into the hallway below and risk breaking my legs if I had to get out.

The truth is, I know I am crazy for thinking like this. I know that probably no other person in that theater had those thoughts. I knew that the likelihood of something like that happening is very unlikely.

However, given my past it’s something that for me can happen at any moment because it has happened.

My husband is now well-versed in my anxious thoughts and behaviors. He knows when I start shaking my leg or breathing heavy or biting my nails that I’m nervous.

He looked at me in that moment and said, “everything is going to be okay. I got you.”

You don’t know what that means to me. To have a partner recognize my behaviors and offer words of affirmation. Reminding me that I’m okay. Everything is going to be okay.

For a split second I stop. I stop these anxious thoughts and try to change the frequency of my mentality. I try to remember in that moment that God is with me. He will not leave me. He will rescue me. He is the one who brings true peace and calm to my weary anxious soul.

I did my best to relax and enjoy the movie. My heart stopping every time someone stood up and got up in the middle of the movie. Poor people are just going to grab more popcorn from the concession stand and here I am assuming the very worst.

This is not something I wish on anyone. Or expect anyone to understand what it is like to have these constant anxious thoughts. I try so hard to not let them ruin my life and effect my ability to live life. It’s harder some days than others but it all boils down to one thing-God is with me. No matter what, He is near.

So in this need I ask God for his everlasting peace. His perfect love casts out all my fears.

The truth is we all have needs but the even bigger truth is, ‘And my God will supply every need of mine”.

He’s going to show up wherever you need him.

A new job, an escape from an abusive relationship, a healing of your physical body, a restoration of a broken heart.

Whatever your needs are today, give them up to God. Let him be whatever it is you need Him to be.

A healer, a Protector, a Provider, a Friend, a Helper, a Comforter, a Warrior, a Defender, a Teacher.

“To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”